1500!

“Something is wrong in ministry.” – Pastor Jonathan Falwell, Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at the Refuel Conference for pastors

“Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.” – From the Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development

I want to write about this.  I desperately want to find something to say that adequately expresses how this breaks my heart, and how I believe it is breaking God’s heart.  I have sat here, staring at my computer screen trying to formulate the words.  I can’t.  All I know is that somewhere buried deep within these cold statistics is my name.  Somewhere within this reality is my destiny and God’s purpose for me.  I wish I had the skill to write volumes, but instead I am going to pray that the Holy Spirit will break your heart too.  Sorry if that discomforts or disturbs you, but that is my prayer.

Jeff Kapusta…Pastor!

 

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. – Ephesians 4:11-12 (NLT)

One of the very first times I laid eyes on my pastor, he rode a bright green Big Wheel into the church during a series entitled, “The Big Green Machine.”  When I was first introduced to him, he looked so young and hip, and I was so arrogant that my first thought was to say to him, “Son, did you ride your skateboard to church this morning?” (I’m glad I didn’t!)  All of that was before I discovered the true heart for Christ and for people beating within Jeff Kapusta.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Church at Ephesus, reminding them of the responsibilites of their spiritual leaders and their pastor, calling them “gifts” that God has given to the church.  Now, it may be a fact that in some churches their pastor seems to be more of a curse than a gift.  I am so grateful to God that this is not the case for Lifepoint Church or me for me personally, because in every sense of the word, Pastor Jeff Kapusta is a genuine gift!

Now, I am 55 years old, and I have been a pastor.  It may be that some might ask, “How is it that you are able to submit to the authority of and follow the lead and the teaching of one much younger and maybe less experienced than yourself?”  That’s easy to answer.  First of all, I see in Jeff all of the characteristics, not only as a pastor and leader, but as a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a friend and as a man that I have always wanted to be.  He has all the necessary energy, passion, compassion, willingness, desire, charisma and skills required to develop Lifepoint to its fullest potential.  But, most of all I love, and have never had reason to question, the unmistakable fact that he loves the Lord Jesus.  That love is what God has used to give him the vision that provides Lifepoint its purpose and identity to “Love God…Love others…Serve the world.”  That is more than a snappy catch phrase.  It is who Jeff Kapusta is and it is the model and standard that Jeff Kapusta sets for the rest of us.  How could I not want to follow a man like that?

Today is my pastor’s birthday.  I am glad.  I am glad he was born!  I am glad he’s my pastor.  I am glad he’s my friend.  I am glad for the privilege of knowing and serving Christ alongside of him.  I want to grow up to be just like him!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR JEFF!

TRUTH!!

I try really really hard to keep this blog original and straight from the heart.  But, today I read Pastor Perry Noble’s blog and it hit me so directly in the very area that I am called to serve God for the rest of my life, that I felt compelled to share it with you.  Folks, this is the absolute unblemished TRUTH!  I want to thank Perry for his straight forward, unapologetic and bold willingness to “let the hair go with the hide,” and say what MUST be said!  If I thought it was from any other motivation than the fact that this breaks his heart as badly as it breaks mine or that he was simply being judgemental, I would not put his blog on this page.  I am sick about what happened to me and to the people I harmed and to the church, but I am even more sickened each and every time I see another called out pastor and servant of the Kingdom fall in shame and humiliation to sin and immorality of any kind!  They say the truth hurts.  I hope it does in this case!  I hope this hurts so bad that it wakes us all up!  So, Pastor Noble, thank you for your breaking heart and for letting it bleed on the rest of us. 

__________________________________________________________________

Pastors and Sexual Sin  May 20, 2010

Dear Pastor,

Sexual temptation IS going to HIT you…there’s nothing you can really do about it except deciding NOW to MAKE WAR and actually do what God commands of us in Nehemiah 4:14.  (I wrote an article a while back entitled, “Keep your penis in your pants” that may be worth reading if you haven’t yet.)

My advice for those facing extreme sexual temptation…

#1 – Don’t buy the lie – you KNOW that satan is a liar (Jon 8:44) and that all he is offering you is a counterfeit.  The “ideal” scenerio that you have in your mind in regards to that affair isn’t going to play out.  You’ve seen it in SO MANY PEOPLE…don’t allow the enemy to convince you that you will be the exception.

#2 – Don’t use David as an excuse!  If I hear it again I am going to throw up, “But David committed adultery and was called a man after God’s own heart.”  Uh…yeah…but he REPENTED (which means he turned away from his sin instead of diving deeper into it and then screaming that people needed to show him grace!)  He also had sexual sin in his family for generations, had a daughter raped and a son rebel against him.  You are a FOOL if you think that your children are not going to suffer the consequences all because you were more passionate about an orgasm than Jesus.

#3 – GET HELP!!!  If you are struggling with temptation…TELL SOMEBODY that you KNOW loves Jesus and loves you.  ”But Perry, if I do it may get bad.”  I would say if you DON’T it WILL get bad!!!  Get some great men around you, confess the problem and then submit to their leadership.

#4 – Don’t blame others for your screw up – IF you choose not to listen to men who sincerely love you and want to try to protect you, your marriage and your church then don’t scream that they and the church turned their back on you when it was actually you that decided to pull your pants down and put things where they did not belong.  You are not the victim once you decide to take this step…and sin has consequences.  And that’s not being judgmental…its simply declaring the truth!

BTW…your “friends” aren’t the one who rally around you and affirm your sin…they are the ones that DO love you, do beg God for you to repent, do speak truth and do hurt for you more than you know!  AND…the church didn’t turn its back on you when you sinned…you turned your back on her!!!

#5 – Don’t think your sexual sin is going to give you long term satisfaction – If you are a pastor and you have an affair with a lady in your church then you’ve GOT to understand that what attracted her to you (integrity, godly character) is now SHATTERED the minute you have sex with her…and sooner or later the blinders will come off of her eyes and she will see what you really are.

#6 – STOP expecting your wife to be impressed with you – bro, she’s seen you in the nude, there is NOTHING you could do to ever impress her!!!  Seriously…she is NOT your servant but rather your opportunity to SERVE.  If you want her to treat you like a rock star then you are on dangerous ground because you will hop in the sack with the first lady that does.

#7 – Set guard rails in place – Don’t travel alone…don’t ride in a car with a lady alone…don’t counsel a woman alone…JUST DON’T!  We KNOW the areas we are tempted in…and for us to NOT establish some sort of boundaries is simply stupid!  AND…if some people think that these kinds of things are extreme…it’s BECAUSE THEY ARE!!!

Can God forgive sexual sin?  ABSOLUTELY!  He is a God who loves unconditionally!  BUT…pastors/church leaders…PLEASE HEAR ME ON THIS ONE…God’s Kingdom is TOO important for ANY one of us to sell out for momentary pleasure.  We’ve GOT to fight…we’ve GOT to RUN FROM THIS TEMPTATION (I Corinthians 6:18-20!)

AND…one more thing, Jesus didn’t die on a cross so people that claim to follow Him could run around and screw whoever they want and then scream “grace” and “you’re being judgmental” when people point out the sin and plead for repentance!

We’ve GOT to fight through this men…we’ve GOT to ask for help and have integrity…our ministries and marriages AND THE CROSS are TOO IMPORTANT to sell out for sex…I’m praying Psalm 69:6 for all of us!

firm, yet mobile base

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,  that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man,  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded [emphasis added] in love,  may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—  to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:14-19 (NKJV)

Wow!  Totally dependant on what’s under you (your base) for your ability to remain balanced, upright, and moving forward!  What a unique concept….or is it?  What do you stand (or sit) on?  What is your base?  What keeps you upright….moving forward?  Just askin’….

Incomprehensible

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39 (NKJV)

We are loved with an incomprehensible love, by an incomprehensible God, whose incomprehensible passion and desire is only for a personal faith relationship, and an intimate fellowship with us.  He wants us to understand that there is nothing He will not give to make that happen.  Can you comprehend that?  He wants us to!

Follow your heart?

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked.  Who really knows how bad it is? – Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT)

“Just follow your heart and you can’t go wrong.”  Have you ever heard this kind of statement before?  Maybe you’ve heard it couched in the form of well-intentioned advice from a friend.  Sure sounds right doesn’t it?  When faced with a perplexing decision of signficant importance that may have life changing implications and there seems to be no immediate answer,  how could deciding to follow what our hearts tell us be wrong?

Allow me to give you a possible reason, from personal experience, that may provide some evidence why such a sentiment may be deceptive and critically erroneous.  In 1999, I followed my heart’s desires and the tragic consequences were widespread and the ensuing heart-ache, to greater or lesser degrees, are still evident.  It is absolutely and only because of God’s grace and mercy that my determination to follow my heart, or rather what my heart told me was right for me has not ended in total destruction or ultimately death.  The sad fact is that I was so deeply convinced that what my heart was directing me to do was so right, that NOTHING any one advised me to the contrary was even remotely considered or heeded.  Because of this, I cringe every time I hear someone say, “Well, I just have to follow my heart,” in one matter or another.  And even worse, when I hear a follower of Christ say that they are hearing God tell them something that is obviously contrary to what His Word and teachings prescribe.

So, how can we discern without confusion the difference in what our deceptive heart is telling us is right to desire, and what God Himself is permitting or compelling us to pursue?  Or, in the words of a wise friend of mine, “How can we know that what we’re feeling is God and not just a bad bean burrito?”

In “Experiencing God,” Henry Blackaby’s wonderful teaching program about knowing and doing the will of God, he gives seven spiritual markers for the believer to utilize in determining that will.  The fourth of these guidelines assures us that God does speak clearly and indicates how best to know that it is His voice.  It says, “God speaks by the Holy Spirit, through the Bible [What does the truth of Scripture say…confirm?], prayer [Communication with God is two-way involving speaking our desires and hearing His] , circumstances [Are we attempting to control our circumstances or depending on God’s purpose and plan?], and the church [What kind of wise counsel are you receiving/heeding from trustworthy fellow believers/spiritual leaders within your circle of Christian fellowship?]  to reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways.”  If this is sound advice (and I am convinced that it is), then what is intentionally missing from it is any conclusion to simply “follow your heart,” and let the chips fall where they may.

The counsel of the heart may seem efficient for Hollywood, or Dr. Phil or Oprah or even the best intentions of Lucy Van Pelt from her sidewalk “Psychiatry for a nickle” stand, but it is not sufficient to God and not His best for us.  The only means by which we may be assured that what the heart is telling us is verifiably true, is by unconditionally surrendering it to God and having that heart replaced by His.  Feeling your heart beat?  Make sure it is in cadence with the pulse of the Holy Spirit.  Following our heart is often the easiest thing to do…following Christ’s heart seldom is.

Foremost Ministries: Part 2

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.  Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.” – 1 Timothy 1:15-16 (NASV)

I cannot begin to describe how thankful I feel, knowing that “God’s not finished with me yet.”  Foremost Ministries is beginning to take shape and to take off.  I developed a powerpoint display and my precious wife, Barbara helped me with it and then produced it into a video.  It describes the vision, the purpose and the core beliefs of the ministry with Brandon Heath’s “Wait and See” playing as background music.  Hope you enjoy and will share it with others.

For Joy Bell

  

Her children stand and bless her.
      Her husband praises her:
 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
      but you surpass them all!”

 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.  -Proverbs 31:28-31 (NLT)

Back when the above picture was made, she was Joyce Estelle Hall.  Later she became Joyce Hall Williams.  Later still she became known as Eddie’s Mom.  Many who know her most intimately also know her as Joy Bell!  I think that’s accurate, because the joy she brings to me and to others is as clear as the ringing of a bell.

Here’s why she brings me such joy.  Because the love she has always shown to me as her son is the best example of the agape love of God that I have ever known.  When nobody else was there, she was.  When I could not find friends, she always was one.  At my best, Mom was there and at my worst.  During my happiest times she shared the laughs with me, and in the hardest and darkest of days, she was there sharing the tears, comforting and encouraging me.  Even when I had no love for myself, I was never without hers.  She has always believed in me when there was no reason for anyone to believe.  There has never been anything that she has owned that she would withhold from me.  Without knowing the type of unconditional love that my mother has shown to me, I’m not sure I could have any reasonable concept of the same kind of love that my Savior gives. 

Today is Mother’s Day!  I extend special prayers and blessings to all you Moms out there.  I honor you all today, and appreciate you more than I ever would be able to, mainly because I am able to honor gratefully and love especially my own Mother….

I LOVE YOU JOY BELL!  I LOVE YOU LORD FOR ALLOWING HER TO BE MY MOM!

Unpacking God’s Revelation

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
       and in his word I put my hope.” – Psalm 130:5 (NIV)

One of the joys of social networking websites like Facebook is reestablishing contact with folks I haven’t seen or heard from in years.  Occasionally when this has happened there has been either a face to face reunion or a phone call.  There are so many things that each of you want to share and catch up on that your conversation results in rapid chatter, trying to get everything in before your time together ends.  Usually, I leave and later think, “Oh!  I forgot to tell [him/her] about….!”  Likely there will remain many things to say and share for another time.

I am discovering that our time spent communicating with and receiving communication from God can be sadly similar.  Hopefully, this is not due to any infrequency of time spent, or prolonged absence of our prayer and fellowship with God.  But, I find that when the Holy Spirit does speak clearly to me about some special event or circumstance or prayer concern, I seem to expect Him to download everything He knows, and everything that I want to know at one time.  It’s as though I don’t expect to hear from Him again, so I’d better get it all right now.  More often than not, that’s not how God works in His revelation to us.

When we are faced with some dilemma, or some need, or some decision, if we’re wise, we will bring that to God and listen to hear from Him.  What we too often want and expect in that instance however is an epiphany,  an instant flash of omniscience….a thunder clap moment where we can say, “Wow!  Now I have everything I need to fix this problem, immediately!”  We want God to be like a super-chef who throws the covering off the table to expose some complete, sumptuous seven course meal for us to dive into, devouring the entire thing in one sitting.   Even more than that, we expect Him to cook the entire thing in a microwave, so we don’t have to wait any longer than necessary to dig in.

What we find as God reveals His plan, His purpose and His will, is that the revelation is more akin to the unpacking of a suitcase, than the unloading of a dump truck.  First of all, none of us are equipped to receive the fullness of God’s knowledge and understanding all at one time (our finite minds would burst).  Secondly, He mercifully gives to us what we need as we are prepared to receive it.  And finally, God does things, including giving us the answers we expect and need, according to  His own schedule and perfectly executed plan. 

So, what is it that you’re waiting to hear from the Lord right now?  Approach Him with that desire or need with confidence that He will respond, but ask Him also for the patience to accept it as He gives it.  Sometimes, He might say, “Here is my complete answer for what you require.”  Be ready, however, for God to quietly say, “Here’s what you need for now.  Come back later and I’ll show you some more.”  Maybe He knows that if we get it all at one time, we may not come back at all….and He loves the time with us.

The Regret Collector

He has removed our sins as far from us
      as the east is from the west. – Psalm 103:12 (NLT)

The pastor had settled into the large pulpit chair on the stage as the choir finished their special music.  Did the chair seem larger than usual this morning, or was it that he seemed smaller?  The final strains of the vocals faded and the last notes on the piano ended.  It was time to get up and go to the pulpit, but his legs weren’t cooperating.  Silence fell across the sanctuary as the pastor continued to sit, head down, eyes tightly closed.  A cough….another….somebody cleared their throat….a baby whined….a seat creaked, as finally, the minister rose from his chair and slowly approached the pulpit.  As he did, he reached into his inside coat pocket and withdrew an innocuous looking piece of paper.  Placing the paper on the stand, and putting  both hands on either side as though to hold himself up, the silence continued for more prolonged moments.  A single tear fell onto the paper in front of him.  Another cough from the people and someone quietly spoke, “Bless him Lord.”

The voice began in almost a whisper, but it rang out through the silent church like a thunder clap as the pastor finally gathered his courage and said, “This will be the most difficult letter I have ever had to read…”  He could not look out at the faces before him, but he knew instinctively that their expressions were worried and confused.  The only instant that he looked out, he saw his wife sitting on the front row, staring blankly straight ahead…expressionless.  “I regret to inform you, my dear friends, that I must resign from pastoring (you fill in the name) Church.  Because of certain and specific sin issues in my life, I am no longer qualified to lead this or any other church…..”

“I regret….”  As those two words were uttered, in fact everytime those words are uttered, somewhere in the very heart of Hell a wry smile spreads across the face of our Adversary, the Devil.  He is the collector of regrets.  He files them away so that he can pull them out at just the right moment to remind us of them again and again.  He smiled and chuckled on that Sunday morning, as the hot tears of disappointment flowed down the faces of that congregation.  He was filled with glee as that pastor closed his letter and walked out of the church.  The Enemy broke into a full laugh as the now former pastor opened the doorway to guilt and shame and stepped through it into darkness.

The story you have just read is not fiction.  The events described actually took place ten years ago, and the pastor was me.  I have told the story before, but even more tragically, the story has played over and over again in my mind for many years following.  The sheer weight of that replaying story nearly crushed me under the weight of guilt and shame and regret for more than six years and literally almost killed me. 

That is when the Lord Jesus, merciful and filled with grace, purposefully and intentionally altered the story line and gave me a new one.  Oh, He did not change the original story or many of its consequences.  Rather He showed me a way to live… really live, inspite of it.  He told me that neither my story or His ended on that horrible Sunday.  He reminded me of another story that could have ended in regret and shame on a Cross, but did not.  Because that story did not end, but continues to this day….continued even on that Sunday ten years ago… my story has not ended in defeat and no one else’s needs to either. 

Regret.  It is the tool that our Enemy, Satan uses best to capture us, to control us, to hinder us, to stop us from fulfilling our destiny in Christ, and from acheiving the abundant life that our Lord promised us, and worse from making His saving grace available to a world living in pain and separation from God. 

NO MORE!  The story I thought ended in regret continues on toward its finale of victory in Christ.  Nothing….no shame, no guilt and certainly no regret will keep me from telling it right up to the final page.  If you believe that the things in your life that you regret have disqualified you from receiving everything that Jesus has for you….have I got a story for you!