While I Wait…

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
      and he turned to me and heard my cry.
  He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
      out of the mud and the mire.
   He set my feet on solid ground
      and steadied me as I walked along.
  He has given me a new song to sing,
      a hymn of praise to our God.
   Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
      They will put their trust in the Lord.  -Psalm 40:1-3 (NLT)

Ten years.  It will have been ten years in July, since I walked away from my career in ministry.  I didn’t wait for anything during the first few years that followed…I RAN!  But, the Lord waited for me.  He was the One who was patient and waited for my rebellion to end. (1 Timothy 1:16)  When I had finally run as far as I could, through the darkness and the despair, I found Him waiting to lift me up, clean the muck and the stink off of me and sit me back down on the firm ground of His grace and mercy.  Then He invited me to a new walk, in renewed fellowship with Him.  At the beginning I was like a man who had been crippled for a long time, having to relearn how to walk, and His firm hold was always there to steady my unsure gait.  I have been required to wait patiently, learning to walk (not run) again with confidence, depending on His strength to keep me from falling. 

I haven’t always been so patient during this process.  I have wanted to get ahead of my instruction on occassion and like any Good Teacher, He has allowed me to stumble and struggle until I fall once again into His waiting arms.  Then He always encourages me to try again.

I have found during this relearning process that it is not only my spiritual legs that have needed God’s healing touch.  It has also been my voice.  At first I wanted to sing my old song…the one I used to sing.  But, it stuck in my throat and emerged with a croak, with no beauty…it was flat and out of tune.  Slowly, I began to realize that the lyrics to that old song were repetitive and monotonous, because the chorus loudly repeated, “Me…me…me…me…me!”  These days, the melody, the lyrics and the voice have found freshness and a different theme.    “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.”

Recently, with this new walk, and with this new song, the Lord is giving me a new desire to hear a new call.  He heard me call to Him from the heart of despair.  Now, I want to hear His call to me to serve and He has given me a new walk, a new voice, a new song and a new (transformed) mind with which to do it.  

Lord, will You once again enable me and send me (1 Timothy 1:12-14) so that  “Many will see what [You have] done and be amazed.”  So that “They will put their trust in [You] Lord.”  I am waiting….patiently.   



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